At the Table

Company of others

This is a new offering from VP3’s A Mentoring Way, a resource for following Jesus in the company of others.

Think of this blog as a favorite comfortable chair with a table for coffee, tea, or your favorite beverage. A space that allows you to feel at ease, welcomed, and ready for spiritual exploration. On this table, we will set images, provocative questions, quotes from spiritual writers, poetry, stories, and always a fresh look at scripture, the living voice of the living God for going deep into your own living faith.

 

In the scriptures, a table always represents presence.

Where God is present with God’s people, and people are present with each other.

When you return to At the Table, you’ll find a love for words, biblical words, nuanced meanings, and an invitation to practice what you find there. Think of The Table as a place for you—alone or in the company of others—to read texts necessary for the journey as an apprentice of Jesus.

 

Today we have set the table with three words: follower, haberim, and acolhimento.

Only one is likely to be familiar.

Jesus didn’t start his mission as a rabbi with an exam, assessment of knowledge, or resume of spiritual competencies. He began with a life-shaping invitation: “Follow me.”  The word “follow” asks you to imagine your favorite road, a path in the woods, a beach trail, or familiar sidewalks around your neighborhood. The word “follow” in Aramaic, the language Jesus spoke, was hodos, which means to first-century hearers: a road, a way, and steps on a journey with another.

 

Jesus knew his followers would have questions and needed to set the table for conversation with others.
Thus, word two: haberim. Kenneth Bailey lived in the Middle East most of his life. He is an invaluable resource to help us understand the context of first-century words, practices, and culture. The word haberim was the name of a lay movement in the time of Jesus. Lay people, not rabbis or clergy, gathered at a friend’s table to study scripture and help each other in the practice of following Jesus. Bailey believed Jesus learned much from this practice of haberim as a young carpenter nurtured in neighbor’s houses in his hometown of Nazareth.

 

Word three is the hard one to pronounce: Acolhimento[1]. Try it the way my friend from Brazil taught me to say it: “A coal lee mento.” In Portuguese, it is a manner of creating space in deep hospitality. “It is a deep and intimate welcoming, a place for rest, reciprocity, joy and tenderness.”  A place where we say to one another, “I see the entirety and miracle of you,” and “It is an honoring of all that we are and what we have gone through.”

 

Many of you find this in your formational group studies, such as The Journey. Others feel this in the company of others—a mentor or spiritual director. We are all invited to find this at the table and on the way with Jesus. Jan Richardson says, “Beloved is where we begin.” [2]

 

With whom might you set a table to learn about Jesus and from Jesus as you journey on the way?

 

 

 

[1] Yohana Junker,  On Art. Religion, and the Poetics of Resistance

[2]Jan Richardson, www.janrichardson.com

Spiritual mentors help us “grow up” in Christ

Apostle Paul says in Ephesians 4, “We must no longer be children… But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ…” That’s the purpose of our spiritual formation—to grow up into Christ.

Jim Houston said, “If we have been born again, then we must also be taught to live again.” God is up to something in the world—calling us to grow up into Christ in the company of others, a companionship of shared participation in Jesus. This shared participation binds us, creating a sense of belonging and connection in our spiritual journey.

Spiritual mentors help Jesus-followers to “grow up.” They help us navigate our inner landscape, shining a light on the shadows we struggle to see. Helping others grow up into Christ rests on an understanding and conviction that the primary shaping work in a person’s life belongs to God.

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A Book Discussion

At VantagePoint3, we have been cultivating the art of seeing others for 23 years . Close friends know that we call this “particularizing a person.” As our lives and the communities we lead continue to re-calibrate and lean into what matters most in 2024, the importance of relationships is front and center.

As a team, we have been captivated by David Brooks’ newest book, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen.

David Brooks is an outstanding, curious journalist with a proven track record as an author and thought leader. He wrote this book out of a desire to improve his human relationship skills and out of the conviction that he wasn’t very good at seeing and noticing others. Brooks believes that one of society’s most pressing needs is to go deeper with others. He also builds the case through the book that this skill can be learned.

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Mentoring matters.

Mentoring matters.

I have been rereading David Kinnaman’s essay, “The Need to Rediscover: Mentoring as a Crucial Formation Process.” He thoughtfully writes about the need for mentoring among young adults within the Church. His conclusions stretch far beyond the confines of young adult faith development into the whole lifespan of adult faith development. His last three paragraphs capture both the challenge and the opportunity before us as men and women who care deeply about helping others develop and mature in Christ. Kinnaman writes,

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Not a spectator sport…

Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like the wise man who built his house on the rock. -Jesus (Matthew 7:24).

We face tremendous pressure in our lives today to be spectators of this Jesus. But faithful living has never been a spectator sport. Danish Christian thinker Soren Kierkegaard emphasized this by drawing a contrast between being an admirer and being an imitator. He wrote:

What, then, is the difference between an admirer and an imitator? An imitator is one who strives to be what he admires, and an admirer keeps himself personally detached, consciously or unconsciously does not discover that what is admired involves a claim upon him to be or at least to strive to be what is admired.

We can become settled in our admiration of Jesus and thereby keep his claim on our lives at a safe distance. But Jesus is seeking something far different than mere admirers. Jesus calls us to so appreciate who he is that we turn from our way of life to imitate him. We get out of the stands and onto the field into the action and follow him. Read More

30 DAYS OF MENTORING

One of the things our VantagePoint3 team has been paying close attention to over the past few years has been mentoring. Our deep conviction is that a “mentoring attention” is required if leaders are going to help men and women grow up into Christ in every way (Eph 4:15).

A Mentoring Guide: Christ. Conversation. Companionship, this website amentoringway.org , as well as mentoring workshops, and our most recent course “Spiritual Mentoring: Recovering A Leadership of Companionship” have all been expressions of our belief that the quality of our relationships significantly shapes our ongoing growth and maturity.

This mentoring effort continues with the launch of 30 DAYS OF MENTORING! Each day, you can expect an email with a quick one-to-three-minute read that will include quotes, short videos, guidance, and encouragement. We are excited to share with you sections from our mentoring guide as well as introduce you to others whose voices encourage us in our mentoring way work.

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What do you listen for?

There is no one-size-fits-all technique for mentoring. So don’t try to squeeze yourself into a mold of how others mentor. Be open to discovering the ways the Spirit has uniquely wired you to pay attention and companion others.

That said, there is much we can learn from other wise people who have walked well with others. VantagePoint3’s founder Randy Reese is one of those wise friends in my life from whom I learned much over the years.

A couple of years before his sudden passing six years ago I asked him on a webinar, As a mentor or spiritual friend to many, Randy, are there certain things you listen for along the way? Read More

Jesus’ Way with Others

I have been inspired recently by Emily P. Freeman’s words when she wrote,

“I have a vision of a generation of believers who understand that the goal of life is Jesus and all the ways he wants to offer himself both to us and through us to the world.”

Yes, yes, yes! 

Beginning with Jesus’ earliest words to the men and women who would become his disciples, “Follow me,” Christianity has understood itself to be a faith imparted by one to another. For in Jesus we discover not only a worthy model for the journey but also an intimate invitation to a life together. Jesus reaches out by his Spirit, speaking and sharing his stunning life with us. 

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A Longing for Spiritual Conversation…

A few years ago I stumbled across a journal entry of Henri Nouwen; and as so often before, his words deeply resonated with my heart. Nouwen wrote,

“I have come to realize how hard it is to have a real spiritual conversation. I keep wondering how people with deep religious convictions can speak together at table about the life of the Spirit…. It always strikes me how grateful people are for a good spiritual conversation, but also how hard it is to make such a conversation happen.”

In the circles in which I move, I sense a longing among people for better conversations, more soulish conversations, conversations around the big questions and wonderings of their lives. And yet, despite all this longing, people confess a reluctance, or perhaps inability, to initiate such spiritual conversations. Why is this and what can we, who feel such things, do about it? 

From youth soccer sidelines or neighborhood chit chat to informal dinner conversations to small group Bible Studies or mentoring appointments, how can we deepen our conversations?

To begin with, I want to invite you to watch our webinar Jump Starts for Intentional Spiritual Conversations, in which we dove into this set of questions. 

In preparation for this time, I found myself deeply affirming that the quality of conversation we offer others is inextricably tied to the quality of attention we provide others. How then can we grow in an attentiveness that leads to cultivating more meaningful spiritual conversation? 

Three initial thoughts come to mind, growing edges of sorts, for those of us who long for better spiritual companionship and conversation.  Read More

Mentoring is for Everyone

Shortly after Randy had become a follower of Jesus, he met Warren, a successful farmer who had the biggest farming equipment Randy had ever seen. If you come from a farming community, it was the kind of equipment you wish you had the opportunity to play with. Warren was also a big man, the kind you would be glad to have on your side if need be.  While Warren worked the fields with his Versatile 875 tractor, Randy would come out to have coffee with him. The conversations always turned to how each was doing in their walk with the Lord, and what might be hindering their walk. Even in the everyday ordinariness of life—riding a tractor in this typical farming community of Yorkton, Saskatchewan—amidst the hilarious laughter, and at times through swelling tears, in their midst they discovered God.   Although Warren did not have a seminary degree, and even though he didn’t go to the latest mentoring seminar, he had an intuitive way of making space for Randy’s life. He asked the right questions—questions that probed, allowing Randy to discover the Spirit’s leading. Through Warren and these conversations, Randy came to see himself truly—and he discovered how his life might be used to serve God in the future. But, more than that, through Warren’s companionship, Randy experienced the real and present love of God.
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