Wendy and I found ourselves in a VRBO on Penn Cove in the middle of Whidbey Island. We were wrestling with our future: Where shall we go? Should we make a move back to Washington State? There was uncertainty, sprinkled with more than a little anxiety.
One evening, as we listened to music, a sea otter showed off its athletic prowess just north of our deck. A song began to play: “It Is Well,” sung by Kristene DiMarco. A version based on a hymn written in 1873.
Since COVID, we have known heartbreak, loss, and grief.
We lost our niece Katie to fentanyl. We placed my older brother in hospice care. We sat with friends considering divorce. We grieved alongside others through painful losses of family members and dear friends. We have walked in the darkness.
St. John of the Cross gave us the often-quoted phrase “the dark night of the soul.” His message was clear: we often encounter God in the shadows—in seasons of heartache and heartbreak.
For mentors and mentees alike, that may come as a surprise.
The work of spiritual mentoring embraces our whole story, not just the beautiful sunrise and sunset moments. God meets us in places of sorrow: in Mary Magdalene’s tears beside Jesus’ tomb, in the “valley of the shadow of death” of Psalm 23, and in our groaning as we await redemption (Romans 8). Read More
I recall sharing my life story with a very wise man one afternoon in my mid-twenties. After I rambled for 20 minutes or so, trying to capture the sense and thrust of my unique story, he responded. A few affirmations, observations, and even a challenge or two. His first noticing still lingers with me today.
“Rob, it seems like growing up you knew all ‘the answers’ before you knew what ‘your questions’ were. I bet that is very confusing for you.”
I had never thought about it quite that way before, but his words deeply resonated with me.
He paused for a moment and then continued, “I suspect your growing up into Christ is going to look a lot like growing into your questions… and then bumping into the Spirit and his kindness already there ahead of you, amidst the questions of your life.”
30 years later, this framework has yet to disappoint as a way to see God’s formation in my life. This “growing into my questions” has often been the way the Spirit has graciously met me along the way. Read More
I love the presidential portrait museum in Washington, DC. One gets to stand, literally face to face, with the all-male cast of characters who once occupied the highest office in the land. Being a history major has its drawbacks. Too many stories of these presidents’ foibles, failures, moral compromises, and sometimes unethical behavior make it difficult to believe the myths we tell about their noble character, wise leadership, and courage. They were, after all, deeply human. On one visit, Wendy took my picture next to the portrait of the president she thinks I most resemble—the 38th president, Gerald Ford.
John F. Kennedy’s book Profiles in Courage describes eight U.S. senators he considered to be people of bravery and integrity. We hope for such qualities in those who lead us. Yet over time, we learn to distinguish between a leader’s public image and the deeper reality of their life.
“God has crafted our character and given us a role that will reveal something about God that no one else’s story can reveal in quite the same way.”1 So says my colleague, Dr. Dan Allender of The Allender Center.
It turns out that God not only reveals himself to us but also reveals himself through us to others. Does that surprise you?
Like every person, you have been given a song that only you can sing. Read More
"Practical. Insightful. In my 50 years as a pastor, I’ve read many of these. This is THE best. I ordered 12 to give as gifts.”
