A shared life or an isolated life? 

I have found over and over again how hard it is to be truly faithful to Jesus
when I am alone. I need my brothers and sisters to pray with me, to speak with me about the spiritual task at hand, and to challenge me to stay pure in mind, heart, and body.

Fr. Henri Nouwen

The Quiet Drift Toward Isolation

Many of us are startled and saddened by the degree of aloneness we experience in adulthood. We didn’t expect it. From the outside, it seems like family and work and church would provide a vital sense of being known. For many, though, the reality of our demanding lives keeps us skimming across the surface of our relationships. Our intentions for faithful living and service are well-meaning, even noble, but our individualistic approaches prove inadequate to the task. We have consciously or unconsciously sought to make it on our own and have found, over time, our lives desperately lacking, our souls wanting. Sadly, the tale of an individual human life is too often told as a sequence of independent and unshared moments.

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Writing Your Story for Healing and Transformation

One of the privileges of my life was to help create what The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology calls “The Allender Center for Trauma and Abuse.”  Their work has shown again and again how writing your story for healing can bring clarity, insight, and transformation for those who carry pain or untold stories.

 

It is a ministry that highlights the work of my colleague and predecessor, Dan Allender, a seminal thinker and student of trauma and abuse, who served as president of the school.  The focus includes one of the most transformative processes for those who deal with trauma (probably all of us in some way or another) called The Story Workshop.  I invite you to visit The Allender Center online to see what they offer.

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My oldest brother Jerry

Yesterday brought the conversation one hopes never to have: My oldest brother Jerry, severely brain-damaged at birth, was given a diagnosis of likely cancer. The treatment for his weakened body would be invasive and painful, with uncertain results. 

A painful choice was made through tears, prayer, and loving conversation. Jerry would be placed in hospice care. Four siblings of a gentle and loving 80-year-old man made the decision, which was painful yet hopeful. 

Gordon Cosby, from Church of the Savior, once said we must realize that we all sit next to someone seated next to their own pool of tears. To love one another and to listen to one another and to help each other grow as apprentices of Jesus, we are invited by life to pay attention to our own tears of grief. Read More