The Journey: A Shared Life

CategoriesCompanioning Others, Spiritual Conversation by

Little Walker’s trip to the boardwalk

A story

Little Walker’s favorite place in the world is the boardwalk in Ocean City, New Jersey. If you have ever been to this boardwalk in the summer, you know the extent of the crowds of people – it is exhilarating. For five-year-old Little Walker, with amusement rides and snacks and so many people, a night spent on the boardwalk was his most favorite thing to do. All day long, he told everyone he encountered, “I am going to the boardwalk tonight!” So when dinner was done, and the dishes were all washed and dried, he headed up to “the boards” with his parents and little sister, his aunt and uncle. Little Walker could barely contain himself as he entered the scene: Ferris wheels and boogie boards and flashing billboards, skateboards and strollers, Steel’s fudge and Mack & Manco’s pizza and Shriver’s saltwater taffy, the sounds of the Atlantic Ocean in the background, and wave upon wave upon wave of people. Absolutely wonderful!

But when he smelled that smell–hot caramel popcorn!–and spotted the Johnson Caramel Popcorn shop (his dad’s favorite place on the boardwalk), and excitedly looked back for his dad, but could not find him or anyone else in his family, the whole scene turned on Little Walker. The lights, the noises, the smells, and the faces all began to press in upon him and terrify him. The excitement was gone. Little Walker was lost.  Read More

CategoriesEncouraging, Spiritual Conversation by

Peace Like a River

Wendy and I found ourselves in a VRBO on Penn Cove in the middle of Whidbey Island. We were wrestling with our future: Where shall we go? Should we make a move back to Washington State? There was uncertainty, sprinkled with more than a little anxiety. 

One evening, as we listened to music, a sea otter showed off its athletic prowess just north of our deck. A song began to play: “It Is Well,” sung by Kristene DiMarco. A version based on a hymn written in 1873. 

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CategoriesMentoring Matters, Spiritual Conversation by

A Pool of Tears

Since COVID, we have known heartbreak, loss, and grief.

We lost our niece Katie to fentanyl. We placed my older brother in hospice care. We sat with friends considering divorce. We grieved alongside others through painful losses of family members and dear friends. We have walked in the darkness.

St. John of the Cross gave us the often-quoted phrase “the dark night of the soul.” His message was clear: we often encounter God in the shadows—in seasons of heartache and heartbreak.

For mentors and mentees alike, that may come as a surprise.

The work of spiritual mentoring embraces our whole story, not just the beautiful sunrise and sunset moments. God meets us in places of sorrow: in Mary Magdalene’s tears beside Jesus’ tomb, in the “valley of the shadow of death” of Psalm 23, and in our groaning as we await redemption (Romans 8). Read More

CategoriesPreparing Your Heart, Spiritual Conversation by

Where are you?

They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?”

Genesis 3:8–9

 

Adam and Eve have just eaten of the tree that God has commanded them not to eat of—perhaps the most disruptive moment in the history of humankind. The story goes on to say that their “eyes were opened” and they became “ashamed of their nakedness.” Then Adam and Eve hear God enter the Garden and immediately they hide in the trees. God calls out to Adam, “Where are you?”

Now what is God asking? Has God lost track of Eve and Adam? Read More

Categoriesindividuals by

A shared life or an isolated life? 

I have found over and over again how hard it is to be truly faithful to Jesus
when I am alone. I need my brothers and sisters to pray with me, to speak with me about the spiritual task at hand, and to challenge me to stay pure in mind, heart, and body.

Fr. Henri Nouwen

The Quiet Drift Toward Isolation

Many of us are startled and saddened by the degree of aloneness we experience in adulthood. We didn’t expect it. From the outside, it seems like family and work and church would provide a vital sense of being known. For many, though, the reality of our demanding lives keeps us skimming across the surface of our relationships. Our intentions for faithful living and service are well-meaning, even noble, but our individualistic approaches prove inadequate to the task. We have consciously or unconsciously sought to make it on our own and have found, over time, our lives desperately lacking, our souls wanting. Sadly, the tale of an individual human life is too often told as a sequence of independent and unshared moments.

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CategoriesSpiritual Conversation by

“It happened again.”

“It happened again,” were the words with which Richard started his story that day. 

 

He told me how he and his wife had a dinner date over the weekend with another couple from church—“All in all, a less than satisfying dinner conversation.” 

 

Richard elaborated on how he and his wife felt they had asked all the questions, showing interest in their friends, drawing them out, and learning more about the couple’s experiences and perspectives on various topics. Yet their curiosity was never reciprocated; no questions were asked of Richard or his wife, and very little interest in them was expressed by this other couple. 

 

“It all felt like a one-way street of interest,” Richard paused and then continued, “A disappointing but not unfamiliar experience.”

 

These sorts of conversations were sadly all too common, according to Richard. “This same experience is frequent enough,” Richard shared with me,  “that my wife and I have developed a shorthand descriptor for it. When we get back in the car after the meal or when one of us returns from a coffee conversation, either my wife or I say—It happened again.” 

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